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Love is our Resistance
They'll keep us apart, they won't stop breaking us down

Biography

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The name is Jan. I was borned in the season of winter with the age of 20. I'm similar to Rapunzel that was being kept at Woodlands areas waiting for my prince to rescue mi but up till now I still haven't meet one. I'm in love with Kim Hyun Joong, Jang Keun Suk and Lee Hong Gi . And, abit of Derrick Hoh. They're famous, like obviously you'll know who they are. I'm a die-hard fan of White, Black and Purple. Not much of Pink. Television, Music and Dramas are my three best friends, they're always by my side whenever I need them. My greatest enemies are Enzyme, Backstabber, Hypocrite and latecomers. I hate them alot. World would be such better place without them all. To me, Dreams are always sweet like eating a desserts. But Reality is like playing an adventure games that need to go through every level for your entire life.

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Mediabox

"We do not know how many years we can live,
As long as u are still in this world
You must enjoy every seconds "


MusicPlaylist
Music Playlist at MixPod.com


Sweetdesires

Did I hear someone said "sing" or "watch"?

Score well for all my CAT papers
Slim down
Iphone 3GS
Able to wear skirts/dresses
Beloved ones to be happy
Wonderful 20th Birthday
Iphone 5


Linksboard

Meet the people I love♥

Aloysious AJ Amily AnQi
Blogshop BingMing ChewFong Chynna
Doreen Elaine Eunice HuanLing
HuiBin HuiWen Jane Jasmine
Jon KianAnn Kira LiBing
Nicholas PeiYi Priscilla QiuPing
Shermen SiewLan Wendy WenJun

Pastentries

Are you sure you want to turn back the time and read about my past?

February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
October 2010
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
February 2011
March 2011
April 2011
May 2011
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
September 2011
October 2011
November 2011
December 2011
January 2012
February 2012
March 2012
November 2015


Creditorials

NEVER REMOVE THIS SECTION!

Layout Designer:
♥chocodiiction-lovesxoxo*
Others:


Wednesday, November 11, 2015


等了有等。。。好想發簡訊給你。。。可是又不知道妳在想什麼
怕造成妳的困擾。。。怕妳覺得我是妳的包袱又怕你覺得我很厭煩,很討厭
看了臉書的那些回憶。。。老實說我的心好痛,好愧疚。。
說什麼,做什麼都無法挽回。
要我不回他,更是難上加難。根本不知道為什麼會不知不覺的喜歡
兩個禮拜了。。。我只能默默的等待妳的簡訊。。。
不指望你會站在我這,因為我比誰都明白這件事是應我而起。。。
可是只要能收到妳的小小的關心,我是真的心滿意足了。。。
他對我告白了。。。可是我就是開心不起
我想原因就是因為我真的很在乎你。。。所以我就是沒回應他的告白。。。

難道我們真的回不去了嗎?
難道從頭到尾,我在你的心中真是普普通通的朋友?稱不上是姐妹嗎?

♥our day is full of surprise
11:26:00 AM

Friday, March 30, 2012

Now the day...I really doubt abt my feeling

After ytd outing...I really don know who I like...

Is Sam or Ben?

I really don know...

The moment I put on my contact lens...I really wanted to let Ben see

But at the same time...I wanted to let Sam see as well

End up...I went to cwp after my interview just to visit Sam a while

....

And den headed down to Orchard to meet up with Ben

Had our supper for dessert...

We really do chit-chat a lot...

But when come to relationship topic...I was so sensitive that I felt something from Ben...

But I can't confirm that...

He asked mi so many thing that relates to my own feeling towards realtionship

EG:

-What kind of guy do I like

-What I felt towards him

-How do I know that a guy like mi

-What I will react when that guy I liked actually like mi

All these questions really give mi a wrong feeling...

I can provide advice towards other what the different between "habit" and "Love"

Yet I myself cant even do that!

Hence,I went to look for Melvin in the afternoon

Even though I know he still like mi

But He's the guy who I can totally trust and told him everything...

But that does not means that I don't trust my sisters

I do trust them...But I don't know how to tell them

Although he did not provide mi with good advices

Not to mention...He will never fail to lend mi his shoulders whenever I want to hid my tears

Thanks Bro!

As for now...

I shall let the god to decide my density! If I keep on like that,it will just make mi feeling for tiring...What's the point

Just FUCK CARE everything is the best way!

Thanks Sis! 

♥our day is full of surprise
10:44:00 PM

Monday, March 26, 2012

How to say!
I also don know!
Just have doubt in my personal feeling...
I really don know am I really like u or what
And I don't want to have a mix in my feeling...
So I choose to do observation and don't tell anymore include my own sisters
Some time I really think of u...But I don't know is that just a clash or what
Last few months...I do dream of u...But now no more
Instead of dreaming you...I dream of a blur guy :D

A dream that I don wish to wake up :D
Dream that I was in a super complicated suitation
And this guy save mi:)
Knowing mi that I moody...He actually had a yatch and bring mi out to sea
To enjoy the wind:) A romantic scene and even hug mi to give mi warm when he saw mi I feel very cold
Then I wake up alr:)

Honesty specking...I'm a gal that wish to have a boyfriend
But at the same time...I was scared of being hurt
"Hurt" will just remain mi on how TianHuar and Sam treat mi!
I don wish to have that feeling again
Hence,I choose to build a wall in my heart and lock myself in my own world
SL told mi that I don really love u that much
I also don know!
I know she have that feeling is due to what I reacted in front of everyone else

As for whether I like you or not
I shall let the god to decide for mi!

♥our day is full of surprise
8:24:00 PM

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

What should I said?
Totally moody...
Received my result the day before...
Guess what?I failed my exam...
Which I cant accept it...Accept the fact the I failed my exam...
Actually a few weeks ago...I already had a bad feeling that I will failed...
But I did not expect that I failed so badly...
Hid myself in toilet for 3hrs just to do my crying
It's the first that that I hid myself so long in the toilet...
Aunt was worry but at the same time she also feel the pain
Coz she saw the way that I forced myself to study for the paper...
I do admit that I'm very slack during that period
I should mi MIA since end of Oct 2011...
But I still can go out with my friends to have fun,drink till midnight then I go home,clubbing,Taiwan and Singing
All these thing I should not be doing during my exam period...
Yet I still do it...

Hence, the result that I got is actually what I deserved...
But who can understand the pain in my heart
I 'm a student that use to get A's for my papers
And now it drop to F...

It is the similar thing that happened in Sec 5
I promised that I will not let it happen..
Yet I broke the promise myself
In the end I lost everything
I was not good in both relationship and studies
Should I give up?

I already decided to give up relationship
Honestly the problems lies on mi~!
I just cant get through my mind...
To mi guys are not mend to be trusted...
In the past, I still believe at least buddy can trust...
But too bad,one person had proved it to mi...
All guys are the same(except father,aj and brothers), only one word that can describe them
That is "BASTARD"
I had suffered enough hurt and I don wish to feel the same pain again
U can said that I'm a coward
Indeed, I am!
But I had decided to give up u!
I'm firm and set!

Right now
I just want to concentrate in my study and future career
This friendship that I had with a big group...had proven to mi that it cannot be last
The friendship that I always wanted to have was care,concern and advise
But I did not received any from this group except care from some of them

Anyway thanks sisters are always there for mi when I need u
U gals are the best
Especially Ling,U are the best
Maybe because that we had knew each other very long
But u always are there for mi to give mi care,concern,advise,scolding and courage
This is called "friendship"

♥our day is full of surprise
8:45:00 PM

Sunday, February 12, 2012

在我心里我真的不知道,我希不希望你能看到这的post
如果你真的看到的话,那就是上天地安排吧。。。

I don know since when I start to have this feeling
A feeling that I had lost for entire 4-5years
But until recently the feeling was very strong
Strong till I don wish to go on...and decided to build a wall in my heart
I still remember the first movie that we watch tgt with others
If I'm not wrong...It was "11 11 11"
And the first movie that we watched with each other was
"We are not naughty"
And it was at 1st day of Chinese New Year

Even since sis sense something is wrong and inform mi
I still to asked myself these:
"Am I truly love/like you"
"Is it just a crush"
But till now I don get an answer...

Sometime I do sense something in you
The way you reacted give mi a feeling that you like mi
BUT I'm scared it's just a illusion or you gave mi a wrong info
Just like TianHuar and Sam
Tianhuar is the first deep that I loved him deeply
And the 1st guy that I nv live in regret coz I told him all my feeling
But that's the past!
And now it's still a question in my heart
A question that relates to both you and mi

I always try to fix my time out whenever you ask mi out at last min
For you only: I did not get angry easily when u ask mi out last min as you know I hate last mins meeting

Ytd was the first time I throw tamper at you
But I did it on purposely coz I want to test you
Ignoring you at KBOX was my fault...But was part of my plan
Keep on repeating the same thing was also part of my plan too
I know after you know this you might not ask mi out again
But I just don want to hid it from you....
Honestly specking...I felt it something when I told you i change my mind
But I just kept quiet...
Letting u know that Eric was wooing mi...it's also part of my plan
Coz I want to see your reaction...
Telling you that I know who's wooing mi coz of my sensitive was to hint you
But my sixth sense told mi that is I 自作多情。。。
When I told you that I want to watch "Underworld"
You told mi to ask others out...I was very disappointed
Plus one thing that I don't like was to organize activity
So I told you to organize....
I saw you tweet in twitter...and was waiting for your whatsapp...
But there's no notice...
I was sad! But compare to the sadness that I had 5years ago...It was nothing!

Please do understand what I had did
A gal that had been hurt by 2guys and one of the guy was 4 years long was not easily believe in guy...
From what had happened ytd
The result was I 自作多情。。。
If you truly like mi...Pls let mi know as I will be waiting
But for your info...sometime I will reject you if you ask mi out
Coz it's the only way to protect mi from having the same pain again...

♥our day is full of surprise
12:02:00 AM

Sunday, February 5, 2012

It's been such a long time that I nv update my blog
Hais
I've been busy with both work,study and problems
:(

First thing first...I had quite my Cathay job and join Kbox
At least is a part time job that I wanted very long time ago
Next...It's the year of dragon
Which means new year and new start and new beginning
^^
I hope that this year is a gd year for my family,my friends and mi
:)

♥our day is full of surprise
10:17:00 PM

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

总决得好像在等着被判死刑
不知道从哪里说起。。。
只是知道我已经好累。。。
完全失去了笑容。。。
太多太多的事。。。不知道该怎样去面对。。。
好想逃避!
如果老天爷真的对我好的话,请你让它快点结束。。。
不让我领愿你夺走我的性命。。。

♥our day is full of surprise
1:29:00 AM