Friday, February 27, 2009
Today wake up late coz ytd sleep at 2am...
Hai...
While eating breakfast with my aunt...rec a call from Reece...
He ask mi wht I was doing tis few days...I told him tht I was slacking at hm...
He also ask mi want to go bk help him or not...I told him tht I need to consider first...
Coz now the economy is bk and I scared tht even I go bk I also might not do very well...
Second reason is tht I don feel like pitching aft I decided not to do JCP
Hai...
But if I nv go work....my aunt had lost an allowance in my side....
Some more there still bills waiting for her to pay...
Wht should I do now???
Go bk work also cannot...nv go work also cannot!!!!
Wht should I do now???
♥our day is full of surprise
12:40:00 PM
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
I hve one gd news!!!
My 2nd Cousin is getting married!!!!!!
Hee!!!
I feel happy for her!!!
Anyway today is raining day...so is my day again!!!
Jus return bk from KFC!!!
Hve some chat with Yvonne...Selene and Chynna!!!
Aft tht...Yvonne and Selene headed to Chynna's hus while I stay at hm!!!
Hai!!!
Nothing special today!!!Jus feel happy behave of my cousin!!!
;D
♥our day is full of surprise
4:29:00 PM
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Today is raining day...Jus don knw why whole day was thinking abt the things tht Javien told mi ytd...I really try to make myself not to think of it...but I still cant stop my mind!!!Wht am I going to do now???Feeling very lost and fear of everything tht happen around mi...Why is my courage gone to???I jus don knw how to find them and wher to find!!!!I really hate myself a lot!!!Waiting for her calling ytd till today...but no one call and sms mi!!!!Shujuan how come u become like tht sia????Mi myself I also don knw!!!Dreamt of my grandparents ytd night....really mi them alot!!!I really want to find them!!!But I knw if I make the decision...my aunt and mum will be very sad de!!!Now I alr can announce tht I lost in my own world!!!Failure...is the ony word tht I can sae myself!!!No one will even feel the same ways tht I do!!!Mayb I might be a headache to ur guys...but the truth is I really treasure u guys/gals as my true friends!!!See my buddy's blog kanna spam...I don dare to help....!!!Wht I doing now???Afraid of everything???Ya is true...coz now I really fear of everything and afraid of everythings!!!!
♥our day is full of surprise
12:30:00 PM
Monday, February 23, 2009
Today feeling very bored and Moody!!!Stay at hm the whole day!!!
In the morning...received a call from Javien asking mi izzit tml going his office for work...I heard I also feel very confuse...but aft a while den I came to a sense tht I knw wht he was talking abt...First...from wht I think is she went bk with Michelle to work for Chris...den she let mi knw...And Javien though tht I was ging bk as well....I told Javien tht I was not going bk to help Chris...he ask i why...I told told him tht I and her was having a fight abt our different opponent...Den he sae he will call her to talk to her...But from wht I understand from her...she don wish to let third party knw abt tis...so I told Javien not to ask her abt tis...But he sae he will help mi by asking here why I nv join them....den I sae anything!!!But since now she decided to go bk with Michelle to help Chris...I bet Michelle also knw abt tis...Let wht she sae...she will not jus depend on mi to help her with the sales...she also can ask Michelle to help also.. I hope she will not regrat on wht she sae coz Michelle will jus easily start to play when her LOA was not gd... So I wish her gd luck...And also she nv let mi knw tht she go bk so I think tht she hve the intention for not leting mi knw....Javien told mi tht out of the three(mi,michelle and her)....I am the most gd person tht not a single want can do the same thin as mi...example:1)when my frez need help in sale...I help them without second thought even thought my sale was ****2)I help my frez whatever I can with 2nd thought3)My sales was gd no matter wht and remain consistent with different types of projects!!!In the past I will be overjoys with the things tht I heard but today my heart don feel overjoy at all!!!He ask mi to help him...But I rejected him!!!But he still not give out as he told mi tht if I want to go bk I can give him a call!!!Ppl can sae tht I rejected Javien coz of her...but is was not coz I don wish to pitch again....When I and her together...she told mi tht no matter wht we cannot keep any secret between us...But now she choose to keep tis as secret...So i got nth to sae...All I can sae is gd luck to her and hope she can earn big bucks!!!Wich is till a qns???Whether she or not...is her decision....and she choose Michelle instead of mi...I alr knw her ans although I nv send her the sms!!!PPl can sae mi stupid for doing all tis...I will not sae anything...coz I really stupid!!!!I can sae I will not regret for wht i done in the past coz at least I try to build up friendship with themBut end up is a failure....But my 10yr friendship will not change coz they always support mi all way long...I don knw how to thanks them!!!!???No matter wht I will still wish her all the best!!!But for the time being...I really cant cheer myself up...Pls bare with it for a while gals....I believe I will return bk to normal again very fast de....To Yvonne:Gal sorry today suddenly cannot mit u coz I having a sore eye!!!Really sorry!!!Hope u don be angry!!!See u tml!!!!
♥our day is full of surprise
3:44:00 PM
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Today wake up really late...I thought tht when I wake up everything will be fine...But I was wrong!!!Everything still the same...Ytd cry for almost 3hours....and also send a sms to a few of my friends tht I see them as my best elder sis and bro....But only 4 of them reply my msg....Tht is wat I expected....sending more 10sms but only 4 reply!!!!Ppl might be laughing at mi why I doing all tis!!!!All tis well I be living alone without anyone beside mi especially my loved one who dote mi alot!!!!Had some nightmare ytd....Dreaming my grandparents spending time with mi at young dem aft a while they leave mi alone in a dark place withot letting mi knw...
Den suddenly appear no wher...my friends were with mi and I grow up still now..but end up I was alone and my friends jus leave mi in a dark and quite place....Really feel very scary...
No matter how hard I try to call help...there no one come nd help mi....At the same time the sms give mi a ans tht how I was unpopular at all!!!!Now my blog was open to my friends but still remain as private!!!!I really hate myself alot!!!
♥our day is full of surprise
3:40:00 PM
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Jus feel like blogging....
Many things that happen recently....
I realy don knw how to describe my feeling!!!!
Ytd night Eunice call mi and chat with mi...
I told her all the things tht happen recently...
I cal sae all tis months....I was stupid!!!!
Don knw who treat mi gd and who treat mi bk!!!
I thought she really understand mi and knw wht I thinking...
But I was wrong!!!!
How I knw...ppl might be wondering...Through a sms tht I send in the morning!!!!
I really don knw why she treat mi like tht!!!
I treat her as my best friend or even sis...!!!
Whenever I sad I told her...share with her my joy...when she need mi I with her....help her with all I can...
But wht I get was...Betray from her...angry at mi for nth....make use of mi!!!
I really don knw wher and wht I do wrongly...but yet she jus sentence mi to death !!!Now!!!I really hate myself alot...alot...alot!!!
Who really care abt mi...dote mi like wht I was????
My aunt???my mum???or my friends???
Now den I knw who truly treat mi as friends!!!
I really regret tht I treat Yvonne very bad in the past who alway support mi whenever I need her!!!!
And I deserve to be punish by god like the past!!!
Primary sch bully my closer friends and my punishment was my grandparents passed awayand my smooth and beautiful became like wht my skin was now !!!
Den wht is the punishment now????????????The death of my beloved one??????
I really hope my grandparents will be with mi now...But is impossible de unless I find them myself!!!
But wher???Heaven???or Hell???
I really got alot of thins tht I wanted to sae to my grandparents and my beloved friends whose give mi all the support!!!
But I can onli sae in my blog coz I really got no courage to face all of them!!!
To 阿公和奶奶：
娟娟好想好想你们！！！我好希望你们会在我身边！！！还有身为孙女的我没有好好的照顾你们是我的不对！可是不管怎样娟绢永远记住你们在娟娟小时候的陪伴!!!娟娟真的真的好想你们！！！All tis well I be giving excuses to myself tht I had walk out the past...honestly specking I was not!!!I be living in my past each and everyday tht not a single one will knw my feeling tht facing the trutht tht 2 ppl leave mi who dote and love mi a lot at same yr but within a half the yr!!!Even until now I was still dreaming of them....the past...and the time tht I spent with them when I was young...but when the time tht I feel happy they alr left mi alone...and all I can do was cry!!!To all my beloving friends....Siewlan...Yvonne and Eunice:I really don knw wht words I can sae to u gals...!!!U all alway trying to protect mi from getting hurt by someone...but I always protect and defence the one who u gals had sae....I really sorry for wht I done and sae to u gals....!!!U all always support mi!!!Be my side when I need u!!!But yet I nv notice or put my heart to it!!!I really sorry!!!I really hate the shujuan tht treat u gals like tht!!!!Until now den I knw who truly see mi as friends and who are not!!!But is already too late le!!!
♥our day is full of surprise
8:18:00 PM
Friday, February 20, 2009
♥our day is full of surprise
9:20:00 PM
Jus came bk from Cwp
Hee!!!
Today feel really happy at the late aftnoon time...
In the morning quarrel with my aunt abt sth
Hai!!!Not t0o mention!!!
Den aft the dinner...went to cwp with my aunt...
Just nice!Can see the actors tht act the show called "Together"
Hee!!!
Saw Jiro Wang...Rainie Yang and George Hu!!!!
Wowwww!!!
Jiro Wang and George Hu are so handsome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow!!!Take a lot of pictures at the scene!!!!!!!
They are really so handsome and pretty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jus crazy abt them!!!!!
♥our day is full of surprise
9:12:00 PM
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Today whole day quarrel with my aunt
In the morning...she scold mi tht I my wallet everytime got no $$$
Sae wht ppl work got $$$...i WORK NO $$$
WTH!!!Now economy is different...very difficult to pitch lor...
Now not like last time...some more my dropping rate drop a lot....
Last time every hour use to drop 10pieces...now lei...10pieces takes 2.5hours...
WTH!!!
Den aft tht mit doreen t Bugis to pitch...Hai!!!
By right we got a few guys de...but coz of no office...all the guys don want to work
At late aftnoon...went hm...on the way hm phone Yvonne to chat...
Hee!!!
Went hm...hve dinner together with my mum,da and uncle
My dad get on asking abt the result of admission...
Hai!!!I also want to knw the result of the admission...
Jus now again quarrel with my aunt abt admission and the work
First:
Told my aunt abt the part time courses...
End up I hve a quarrel wit her coz she don want mi to take any part time courses no matter is poly or ITE...
Fine...den second thing is quarrel with her abt the work
She sae I keep on running interview den end up no $$$....some more most of the time pitch equal to nv pitch...so there no pt for mi to contiune to work lor....
But aft have a quarrel with her...
She give mi a deal sae...by the end of tis month I need to give her $250 for expense and $300 in my band account..
If not she will stop mi from going to work!!!
Hai!!!!
What should I do now???
I really don knw how to tell darling abt tis...
♥our day is full of surprise
8:00:00 PM
Monday, February 16, 2009
Today whole day worring abt my DAE status
Hai...
All my status are processing
Hai!!!!
I really feel very scared tht not a single Poly will accept mi
My aunt keep on asking mi if not a single poly/ITE....wht I going to do...
Honesty specking I really don knw wht to do!!!!
My mum will jus keep on scolding mi nonstop instead of sponsor mi to take private...
Wht should I going to do???
I don really knw...
I feel very lost and there no goals for mi to set for my future.....
♥our day is full of surprise
8:19:00 PM
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Ytd Valentine Day...
So went out with darling and Eugene to celebrate...
Headed bk hm....
Accompany darling to wait for her mum to fetch her...so hve some chat with her
Saw tht thins again...make mi rememb the yr in 2005....
I really miss my grandfather and my grandma...I really wish they are with mi now
But is too late tht I can told them to with my forever!!!
Not a single one will understand the feeling of mine....!!!
Sometime I really think is it my previous life own somebody...tht way I now suffering all tis...
I really don knw
Today my aunt don let mi out of the hus....
I really hate staying at hm....
But who knws....
Jus wht I expected...get scolding from my aunt jus coz of my PSP
My youngest bro spoit my PSP...so scold him
Den my aunt scold mi....WTH!!!
Sae wht I nv help the family...
****!!!
I everytime no enough $ to spent jus to lent her the $....I own people $ also jus to lent her the $....My account left nothing also jus to lent her $...
I work so hard....finding guys....pitching...also jus to help the family...
Den wht all the things I do...end up saying tht I nv help the family.....
I can slack at hm de lor...don care everything....go shopping like wht most of the teenagers will do...
But coz I see her as my second mum...taking care of mi for so long.....I help her whatever I can...endup sae I nv help the family....
I nv as her to repay mi or wht....
I want want the family hve a peaceful life and also I want to hve some family's warmth from here...
Is tht really very difficult?????????????????
♥our day is full of surprise
11:47:00 AM
Friday, February 13, 2009
Today mood no really very gd
Jus don knw why...
Ytd cry the whole night...I also don knw why...
I really miss my grandfather a lot...
Ytd dream all the thins the happen in 2005.....tht yr is the most unhappy yr the I had
I cant even forget all the thin tht happen tht yr....Yvonne keep on telling mi tht I was not the one tht cause my grandfather die...but I knw tht I was responsilible for my grandfather's die!!!
I really blame myself for the thin tht happen tht yr...even until now I still blaming myself...
I knw tht tis will make mi feel miserable for now or even my entire life...but I will not blame myself coz tis is my pinishment...
I really hope tht my punishment is to end my life so tht I no nood to tolerate all the thins now....
But I knw my gradfather will feel sad...so no choice but to drop the idea...
Nex I rally miss my grandma....She really dote mi a lot...whenever I as unhappy or sad...Shealways will hve a soft toys for mi to cheer mi up...
But aft she pass away...ther no one dote mi le...
The nex dream is I,darling and Eugene hit century at Orchard....Wow!
If tht the real dream...I will hve the $$$ to sole all the problem now!!!
Hai!!!Jus now my mum call asking my abt the admission...
I really don knw how to ans her...coz I cant possible to let her knw wht ITE told mi...
If I let her knw...My days will be end...!!!!
Wht should I do now????
No $$$ cannot solve my problems...!!!!
BILLS...BILLS...BILLS!!!Everythings need $....
Tml Valentine Day le...
Wish all my buddies and Frezs "Happy Valentine Day"!!!!
♥our day is full of surprise
9:38:00 PM
Thursday, February 12, 2009
时间一分一秒
星星像白云自在的飘
独自坐在公园一角
任凭风冲进怀抱
十二点的钟声
传遍了城市每条街道
期待拥抱又害怕会被你知道
到底是要远远看你
还是靠近一点更好
我不确定你是不是
我一直要找的主角
我用骗人的祈祷
骗自己我现在很好
和你在一起的每分每秒
就像走过彩虹隧道
时间一分一秒
同一座城市相互寻找
独自坐在公园一角
看着雨后的青草
十二点的钟声
传遍了城市每条街道
有谁知道我现在矛盾的心跳
到底是要远远看你
还是靠近一点更好
我不确定你是不是
我一直要找的主角
我用骗人的祈祷
骗自己我已经看到
看到不安的背后是微笑
是我们的彩虹隧道
欢笑不停围绕
她很美也很煎熬
我却无法选择要或不要
到底是要远远看你
还是靠近一点更好
我不确定你是不是
我梦中见过的主角
我用骗人的祈祷
骗自己你没有看到
阳光地下我的新像羽毛
跟你飞过彩虹隧道
♥our day is full of surprise
10:50:00 PM
Today is Michelle's Birthday!!!
"Happy Birthday Michelle!!!"
Today not really in a very gd mood...went to Michelle's chalet at late aftnoon
Coz I was worry for my DAE result and wht if I nv the DAE failed...den I will be big trouble le
And tht the time I don knw how to handle her
I really very worry!!!!!!!!!!!
Den on her chalet...Eugene and Darling sae to mi tht they want to see mi having a BF during my birthday
But the true is for the time being I really don want a BF now...
My heart alr died aft I decide to give out Tianhuar...
Is true tht sometimes I really envy those who hve their own gf/bf tht can care for them
But for now...I really don want to choose to admirer the person tht I like le...
Coz it is really very tiring and I really don want to give a chance to hurt myself le
Sorry buddy and darling for ltting u down...coz I really don want to get hurt again...If tht really happen I really afraid tht I will collapse!!!
♥our day is full of surprise
10:06:00 PM
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Hai!!!
Today is dem angry!
My mum came back from Malaysia so ask us go coffee shop for dinner
Den donno how come our dinner time become scolding time
Accuse us for not teaching my youngest brother
WTH!!!I got teach lor...is he the one always forget the things tht I teach him
But also cannot blame my youngest bro coz since young he learning attitude is very slow tht I alway throw temper at him
But I dote him the most....
Another thing tht I was angry is she sae like we are not her children...
Ya is true tht we all don like study....but tht does not mean tht we will not pass the exam
To mi...I would really like to tell tis to my mum tht she is the one who should blame the most...
Coz she don one to spent $$$ to find a tutor for my youngest bro
And she rather use tht $$$ to gamble den sponsor us for study
If I knw she use the dinner to scold us...I rather don go for dinner
Touchwood...wht if not a single sch want to accept mi...den
what should I do???If I let her knw...I think the world is going to upside down le
I cant imagine tht day would really happen
♥our day is full of surprise
11:38:00 PM
Score well for all my CAT papers
